


Haunt

by goldfishsunglasses



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009!Dan, 2009x2012x2016, 2012!dan, 2016!Dan, I don't even know what else to tag this as honestly, M/M, Smut, angst later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:04:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishsunglasses/pseuds/goldfishsunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when your past comes back to haunt you?</p><p>chapter summary:  Phil never expected to wake up and find two younger versions of his boyfriend in their flat, and everyone involved is understandably freaked out</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2009x2012x2016

**Author's Note:**

> i’m honestly not even sure what this is but i gave into the timetravel tempation so here you go

There’s a click of the lock and the sound of the door handle turning and Phil sits up straight in bed, because Dan’s sleeping next to him, and _who could that be?_ He’s glad he forgot to put his earplugs in the night before as he climbs out of bed slowly, and creeps out into the lounge, all the while wishing that he had something, anything, to protect himself (and Dan, mostly Dan), but he never saw a reason. They live in a nice neighborhood but it’s still London and he’s confused because the intruder unlocked the front door. Only four people have that key and two are currently in the apartment and _who could that be?_ In his confusion he nearly makes a wrong turn and crashes into the glass door of the kitchen but catches himself just in time and turns to walk into the lounge and…

And it’s him.

Of course it is.

Dan’s home, Dan’s back, and Phil knows exactly where he’s been, but it’s not his Dan, not anymore (thank god) and both men freeze when Dan finally looks up.

“I must be drunker than I thought.” Dan mumbles. His speech is slurred, and Phil is still in shock as he moves to help the younger man, who’s swaying on his feet. Dan shoves the proffered hand away and flops down into the armchair, scowling as he takes in the scene around him.

“I’m not home, am I?”

Phil shakes his head, eyes still wide, brain still trying to process the fact that his boyfriends 21 year old self is currently sitting in the lounge, glaring at him in a way Phil had forgot he was even capable of.

Bare feet are padding down the hall, and Phil knows his absence woke Dan, the “heavy sleeper” who wakes up the instant his boyfriend isn’t in his arms, isn’t within reach, a fact that Phil curses when he realizes just how fucked up this situation is, and he wants to figure out what’s happened before properly involving Dan but he doesn’t get that chance because now Dan is in the lounge, in his pants, his hair curly and sleep-ruffled, and Phil notices the minute change in the younger Dan’s expression, something shifts beneath his hard mask, something that looks like jealousy and…hope? He resolves to ignore it, he doesn’t want to deal with it right now, doesn’t want to deal with the past, but he has too, because it’s not going away and he has to confront it and he doesn’t want to and now Dan is here with Dan and fuck, this is happening, this is a thing now.

“Phil?” Dan says drowsily, rubbing his eyes, “Phil, who are you talking–what the fuck!?” The sight of himself, circa 2012, sitting in the armchair ( _his_ armchair) in the lounge, in the middle of the night, is too much for Dan and he looks at Phil with desperate eyes.

“This is a dream, right? Right? This isn’t real, right? Because I can’t be…you can’t be…this can’t be.”

“I’m fucking real, okay?” The other Dan snaps.

Dan pinches his thigh and yelps at the pain, he pinches harder but _he’s_ not going away and Phil grabs his hand.

“Dan, stop it, you’re going to leave a bruise.”

Dan’s fingers twitch in Phil’s hand, but he makes no move to hurt himself again, and Phil is relieved because he can only focus on one Dan at a time right now.

“How did you get here?” He asks slowly, hoping at least one person can give him a proper answer.

“I don’t fucking know.” Dan snaps, running his hands through his hair, “I don’t know. I was out because we’d just had a fight, a really stupid one, I’d been drinking and said some things I shouldn’t have, and you said some things as well, and I needed some air so I went for a walk to clear my head, and I didn’t want to see your face because you were so mad at me so I wanted to wait until you went to bed, and that’s why I got home so late, and now I guess I’m here, in the future, with you two and _will you stop looking at me like that?”_ He snaps at the other Dan who’s glaring down at him with the exact expression he originally left the flat to avoid. The expression doesn’t go away and he rolls his eyes because of course he’s still stubborn. “Like I said, we’d just had a fight, and I left because all I could think was maybe if I left for a while, when I came back everything would be fixed and my boy–Phil wouldn’t be avoiding me and everything would be okay, but I guess that’s wishful thinking because he’s avoiding me like the fucking plague, and we can barely hold a conversation anymore without fighting, save for those rare moments where we’re actually okay again but they’re not enough, and I wanted to fix it. He’s waiting for me like he always is, and I was finally going to fix it and now I can’t because for some reason I’m stuck in the future. Although, I guess I managed to fix it, because you two are still here, and still…together?” Phil nods, and Dan looks somewhat relieved. “We’re still together, so I must have fixed it, right?” This time it’s Dan who answers with a shake of his head and he mouths “it wasn’t you” and his expression hardens again and Phil just wants this to be over. It’s the strangest night of his life, and he’d like it to be over now, please. He just wants to go back to bed with his Dan, maybe kiss him a bit and tell him everything’s okay because Dan definitely doesn’t look like everything is okay.

Phil reaches for him but then there’s a crash from downstairs, followed by a loud “Bloody hell!” and string of unintelligible curse words and Phil’s heart races because that voice sounds so familiar, and he has a sinking feeling about the identity of their latest guest.

Without a word, Phil makes his way down the stairs to the bathroom, followed closely by Dan, who grabs his hand for reassurance, and the other Dan who’s just plain curious, despite his efforts to hide it.

“Why is there no light in the toilet?!”

The southern lilt is unmistakable, and Phil’s heart thuds in his chest as he gingerly turns the door handle and pulls it open to reveal an even younger version of his boyfriend.

“Dan?”

“Phil? What…why do you look so different? Where the hell am I? Who are they? Why do they look like me? And who the fuck,” he said, gesturing to the poster on the inside of the door, “are _they_ and why are they watching you poo?”

Phil can’t help the burble of a laugh that escapes his lips, because _finally_ a question he can answer. “That,” he says dramatically, “is One Direction.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“We got it as a gift from a fan, and it seemed so horribly inappropriate we just had to put it here.”

“Why do you have so much in here, anyway? It’s a fucking bathroom.”

“Just felt like it needed some decoration.” Phil shrugs. Both Dan’s nod from behind him.

“I remember that day, you originally said no, but I convinced you it would be funny. And then Bryony came over and tattled on us to all of twitter.” He snickers.

“I forgot about that,” Phil laughed, before turning his attention back to other Dan, “why are you here? why are you in our _toilet_ , of all places?” Phil asks him, because honestly, this is stranger than the first Dan’s grand entrance not even an hour ago.e

“I…I’m at…I was at your house–your parents house–you’re asleep right now, and I really had to take a piss so I got up and well…you know, and I closed my eyes for one second and I opened them again and I’m _here_. You still haven’t told me where _here_ is, by the way. Or what’s going on. I’d really like to know, too, because I’d much rather have a proper freak out once I know the context of the situation.” He says all in a rush, and Phil feels bad for him, because unlike their other guest, he looks genuinely perplexed, he’s not even trying to hide it, and Phil just wants to hold him close and tell him it’s going to be okay, that he’ll fix everything, make it right again, but he doesn’t know how, it would all be a lie, and lying is the last thing he wants to do right now. He’s not exactly a terrible liar, but even 18 year old Dan is familiar enough with his tells to detect any bullshit, so he resists the urge and answers the only other question he can.

“London.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re in London. I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re in London.”

“Wait, you live in London now?”

“Yes, I do. With you.”

“We…we live together? Why?”

Phil opens his mouth to respond, and then pauses. How should he explain this? After a few short seconds of deliberation, he opts for the simplest answer.

“You moved in with me in 2011, after your first year at uni.”

“Wait, I got in? To Manchester?”

“Unconditional.” Dan says from his hiding place, and Phil wants to tell him that maybe it’s a bad idea to tell this Dan so much about the future but the look on his face is just so happy that Phil keeps quiet and lets the conversation continue, his heart fluttering as Dan looks over to him and whispers “just like we always talked about”, and he’s reminded of Skype calls and promises, plans for the future that seemed so far away at the time, but eventually fell into place, and holy hell, is he lucky they did.

Dan from 2012 is standing awkwardly off to the side, the jealously in his expression no longer disguised, while the other two are discussing the past, the future, and everything in between until Phil finally interrupts them.

“Dan.”

All three heads turn and Phil clears his throat.

“Sorry, I meant my Dan. Not that you aren’t all my Dan…you are…I want to talk to you all…” He stumbles awkwardly over his words but Dan gets the message and steps out into the hallway with him, leaving the other two to size each other up.

“How are you handling this?” Phil asks softly, running a hand down Dan’s arm and pulling him in for what he hopes is a reassuring embrace.

“I’m okay, I think. I think I’ve managed to convince myself that I’m still asleep, which is making this whole thing easier to process.”

“I’m sorry.” Phil says, holding Dan tighter, more for his own benefit, and he inhales the scent of _this_ Dan, because it’s different, just a tiny bit, but enough for Phil to feel comforted and he releases Dan with a tired sigh.

“What do we do now?” He asks.

“We could be good hosts and invite our guests to the lounge to watch television.”

“Shouldn’t we go back to sleep?”

Dan raises an eyebrow at that.

“Would you even be able to fall asleep right now?”

“No, probably not.” Phil answers truthfully.

“Alright then,” he gestures to the other Dan’s, “let’s go.”

The trek back upstairs seems to take forever, mostly because Phil is well and truly freaking out now. He’s worried that if he gets too comfortable, then someone else might show up but he still manages to appear calm on the outside. Sort of. The TV is on now, mostly for the background noise and the four of them sit in the lounge, an awkward silence hanging in the air. And then Phil gets an idea that he’s probably going to regret come morning, but that’s a problem for Morning Phil to deal with. He suggests it to the group, and receives two positive responses, and one negative. He shrugs, because two out of three isn’t horrible, and the three of them sit on the couch. It starts out innocent, with the youngest and oldest Dan’s cuddling with Phil, while the other Dan, sits sulking in the chair he’s insisting on trying to sleep in, glaring at the scene before him like it’s the most offensive thing he’s ever witnessed.

Phil ignores him as he enjoys the weight of his two boyfriends on either side of him, and he would be lying if he said this particular situation had never showed up in a dream before, but now it was _actually happening_ and Phil planned to take full advantage, unwilling voyeur be damned. When he feels two pairs of hands running over his thighs, slender fingers sneaking into his pajamas and tangling together as they each try get their hands on his cock first, he lets out a satisfied groan, and doesn’t bother to open his eyes when he hears Dan muttering about how fucked up this all is. In the back of his mind, Phil knows it is, he knows he should be trying to figure this out, figure out why exactly his boyfriend’s past selves are in his lounge but it’s late, and he’s horny and two sets of lips are mouthing at his cock now, taking turns sucking him off and he wonders if he can convince this other Dan to join because _holy hell_ would that be hot so he tangles his fingers in the youngest Dan’s hair and pulls him off with a pop that makes Dan flinch. His older self pushes his younger self aside and dips his head to take Phil’s balls in his mouth, whining as Phil gently shoves him away. He looks up to see Dan staring at his cock from across the room, and can tell by the hungry expression on his face that he’s just as turned on as Phil is.

“Do you want a turn?” Phil cringes as soon as the words leave his mouth and he immediately knows he’s made a mistake as he watches 2012–other Dan–middle Dan?–2012 flee the room. Phil hears the door to Dan’s room (their room) slam shut and both Dan’s make a noise of protest as Phil starts to stand, sighing with regret and selfishly mourning the truly spectacular blowjob he’s giving up. He’s a good person, he’s a nice person, and he knows it’s his responsibility to fix this but dammit, he just wants his dick sucked.

That doesn’t make him a bad person, right?


	2. 2012x2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil tries to fix things with Dan and rips open old wounds in the process

Somehow in the small amount of time it’s taken Phil to exit the lounge and enter Dan’s bedroom, Dan’s completely sobered up and made himself comfortable at the piano and is playing what Phil recognizes as Sunburn. His brow is furrowed in concentration, and the crease deepens when he hears Phil come in. Phil ignores the metaphor, ignores the memorized lyrics now playing inside his head, and ignores how accurately they described that time, because he did, Dan burned like the sun. He got bigger and hotter until Phil couldn’t touch him, and Phil can’t ignore the metaphor.

“You didn’t have to follow me.” Dan spits, and he misses a key. They both wince as the sour note reverberates through the room.

“I know. I wanted to.” Dan’s shoulders are hunched slightly, and he vaguely reminds Phil of a caged animal. But Dan isn’t a caged animal, he’s free to roam but he chose to hole up in here of all places.

“No, you didn’t. You want to be out there with them.” Phil briefly considers lying, he he honestly does, he’s still half-hard and aching to get off, and he wants to lie but he knows that Dan knows, and there’s no point in pissing him off further.

Instead, he joins Dan on the bench, and nudges him in a silent encouragement to resume playing. Dan scowls, but picks up where he left off anyway. Phil closes his eyes as the song takes him back, he remembers Dan learning to play it, he remembers Dan playing it for him, and he remembers hearing it at 3am when they’re both hiding away in separate rooms, too stubborn to apologize first.

Dan finishes the song and the air is still now and feels so thick and Phil wonders briefly what’s going on in the lounge without him because it’s eerily silent but then Dan is standing up and yanking off his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans, shoving them down along with his boxers. Phil can’t help but notice that in lieu of his usual Calvin Klein’s, Dan’s got on a pair of his, white ones with little blue musical notes, ones that Phil thought he’d lost. That’s all he can think about as Dan goes and sits on the edge of the bed and begins to pull his socks off.

“Why are you still dressed?” He asks.

Phil knows he should question this, but instead he silently strips down and Dan up again and towering over Phil ever so slightly and Phil reaches out a tentative hand and runs his hands down Dan’s chest, down his stomach, pausing just above and looking at Dan as if he might try and stop him, but Dan just watches. Phil takes this as permission and his hand dips lower. His fingers flit past Dan’s cock and cup his balls, squeezing gently and Dan lets out a noise that Phil’s missed so much.

“God,” He breathes, “I’d forgotten how beautiful you are.”

“You see him everyday.”

“I don’t mean him, I mean you, I mean this version of him, I mean…it’s been awhile since you’ve let me do that.” Phil means it, it’s been ages and he wants to do more but there’s no time so he releases his hold on Dan and climbs onto the bed, rolling onto his side and waiting for Dan to take the hint and Dan does and he joins him on the bed and quickly locates the lube because fuck, he’s a creature of habit and still keeps it in the same place, and he works Phil open slowly and carefully, curling his fingers just so. Just as Phil’s about to come fully undone, Dan removes them and wipes his hand on his dick and slides into him and Phil has to force his eyes shut to prevent the tears from spilling out and Dan’s thrusting, whispering _“I love you”_ after each one and it’s everything Phil wants and it’s everything Phil hates. He feels the gentle pressure of Dan’s long fingers splayed out on his hip, and he covers that hand with his own, and Dan’s kissing his shoulder, trailing his hand down, down until it grazes the the base of his cock and Phil whines involuntarily as Dan explores the coarse hairs there.

“I forgot you were so sensitive.” Dan murmurs, finally wrapping those long fingers around Phil, making him inhale sharply as Dan pumps him lazily just the way he knows Phil likes it. His touch is soft, but electric and Phil feels it zinging through his entire body, beginning at his groin and radiating out into the tips of his fingers and toes and his stomach muscles are clenching and he’s whimpering desperately now and he can tell Dan’s caught on because his thrusts slow, and it isn’t about pleasure anymore, it’s about prolonging this feeling of closeness and Phil appreciates it because he needs this so badly, craves this, and then it’s over too quickly and Dan stays inside him and Phil’s grateful he didn’t have to ask and they’re quiet and Phil gets to experience his favorite Dan again, the Dan that existed in the early hours of the day, the sleepy, soft Dan who accepted gentle kisses, and cheesy declarations of love otherwise banned in all other parts of the house. The Dan he almost lost.

“I feel like he’s about to leave.” That Dan whispers, indicating that he might not be as oblivious to the other Phil’s pain as he acted then.

“I am.” Phil says and it’s the worst thing he could say because now Dan will get defensive and lash out but he’s ready, he needed this as well.

He waits.

It comes.

“I guess the video was all a lie then.”

It comes and he thought he was ready but this is below the belt this is too far Dan was the one who came up with that story Dan was the one who turned his sincere declaration of love into the very thing tearing his relationship apart, leaving him powerless to stop it and Phil wants to hate him but he can’t so he shoves Dan’s hand from his hip, forcing Dan to pull out and break their connection. Phil feels cum started to drip down his thighs as he stands up, but he’s too pissed off to care and Dan looks up at him, anger and hurt evident on his face and something in Phil snaps because it’s _his turn now._

“Of course it was, it was just a prank, remember, Dan? Remember how you repeated that, how you shoved that down everyone’s throats, how you forced me to hear it, do you remember? Well maybe it was, maybe it was a prank because how could I love someone like you?” The words fly out and he wants to take them back because this is going too far and Dan’s face crumples and everything in Phil is screaming to stop, stop hurting Dan but he can’t, because he has to. tears are running down Dan’s face now as he asks in his smallest voice “why are you leaving me?”

“Are you fucking serious, Dan? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you _actually fucking kidding me?_ Why would I want to leave? Why would I want to leave? Dammit, Dan, do you have any idea how miserable you’ve been making me?!”

“Made.” Dan interjects quietly, “you mean how miserable I made you.”

“No! You’re making me miserable and you were making me miserable then and you don’t get to talk right now! _It’s my goddamn turn!”_

“I…” Dan’s looks like he’s choking on air as he struggles to answer and Phil should feel something right now but he can’t dwell on that because this is starting to feel really, really good.

“Why should I have stayed Dan?!” Dan’s curling in on himself now, elbows shoved into his knees and he looks so pathetic and small, and still it has no effect on Phil.

“I need you…Phil, I need you…I don’t know how to make this better….I need you…”

“I can’t always be the one to fix you, Dan. That’s a terrible thing to ask of someone.” He says coldly, and Dan flinches. “It should have been one of the happiest times in our lives. Everything was falling into place, we were doing so well. Why did you have to ruin it?”

“I didn’t ruin it! They did!” Dan’s voice is back now, and he sits up so quickly that it shakes the bed, and his response only makes it worse, because Phil knows this is going in the same direction as all of their other fights, with Dan’s voice drowning out his own, and Phil won’t let that happen this time.  
phil didn’t want people to know but he didn’t want to hide either  
_It’s his turn now._

“Who’s ‘they’, Dan?”

“They! Them! The viewers!” Phil’s shoulders tense as Dan begins to raise his voice.

He’s going to silence it.

_Because it’s his turn now._

“No! He shouts. “No! no, you let them get to you! You let them in! You gave them permission to dictate your behavior, with your fear of being exposed, of being outed, you were so afraid of your image changing that you didn’t even bother to consider how I felt! So go ahead, Dan! Tell me! Tell me why I should have stayed?! Because I was miserable! _You were making me miserable!”_  
He’s aware of his growing volume, that he’s letting his emotions take over, that he’s angrier than he’s ever been before, and it scares him, and he wonders just what his face looks like, because if Dan’s expression is any indication, it’s not pretty.

“Phil?” Dan sounds terrified, and Phil doesn’t care because he’s finally getting it out, finally ridding himself of the poison that was buried so deep he didn’t even know it still existed, but it’s coming out in waves now, choking them both in its terribleness, and it should be helping, it should make him feel better to release this anger but it doesn’t. It hurts and he’s so scared and he just wants the real Dan but the real Dan is gone and he’s stuck with the version that ruined his life and he wants them gone and he sees this Dan opening his mouth and he doesn’t want to hear it but he can’t move so he listens and Dan’s crying and repeating the same phrase over and over “why now why now why now why now” and Phil knows why, knows why he waited so long, why he shoved it down, so deep down, and he’s got a vague idea why it’s reared it’s ugly head again but that’s not what Dan’s asking. Dan’s asking why Phil didn’t bring any of this up in the past, when it was actually happening, and Dan’s words wrap around him, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing,,,

“BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT ME!”

****************************************************************************************************

Phil shot up in bed with a gasp, fringe plastered to his forehead by the cold sweat covering his shaking body. His cheeks felt wet, and he realized he was crying.


	3. 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil deals with his strange encounters

Dan was awakened by a loud gasp and a sob. He sat up immediately and switched on the light to find Phil sitting up in bed. It was obvious he’d been crying, and Dan started to panic.

“Phil?”

“Turn off the light.” He turned his face away and Dan reached for him. Phil shrugged his hand off and lifted his shirt to dry his face. “Seriously, turn off the light. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to bed.”

“Phil.”

“It’s nothing, just a dream. You can go back to bed. Really.”

Dan started to feel anxious now, he and Phil always told each other when something was wrong, a decision they’d made together to avoid problems in the past. If Phil didn’t want to tell him, then it was probably something he didn’t want Dan to know about, something he thought would hurt him because even after they promised to be open and honest with each other, Phil would still protect Dan from any thoughts he deemed “too negative”. It drove Dan crazy, he wanted to remind Phil that he wasn’t the same person he was 6 years ago, hell, he wasn’t even the same person he was one year ago, but it would be pointless to try and change his boyfriends stubborn ways. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

“Phil, something is obviously wrong, I’m not going back to sleep until you tell me.”

“I told you, it’s nothing.”

“You’re crying.”

“No, I’m not.” Phil sniffled. Dan opened his arms and Phil leaned into his embrace, allowing Dan to rub soothing circles on his back. He buried his face in Dan’s chest and breathed deeply until he felt calmer. Dan kissed the top of his head, letting his lips linger on the spot.

“Tell me about it?” He mumbled into Phil’s hair. “Please? It’ll make me feel better.”

Phil had stopped crying, and used his shirt to wipe his face. Dan wrinkled his nose at that and Phil sighed, pulling his shirt off and tossing it off the bed.

“Better?”

Dan nodded and Phil leaned back into him again. Dan ran his fingers along Phil’s sides, and he welcomed the distraction from his thoughts. It was better to just get it over with, he thought. They lay together in silence when Dan’s hands still, and he patted Phil’s hip to get his attention.

“So, can I hear?”

“Are you sure? It’s pretty weird.” Phil tried, but he knew there was really no way he could avoid this any longer.

“I can handle weird.” Dan assured him.

“This isn’t normal weird, this is weird weird.”

“Normal weird?”

“Our kind of weird.”

“Right.”

“You were there, well, there were three of you.” Phil said, closing his eyes and thinking back to the moment he saw the first Dan. It has felt so real.

“So you dreamed a fanfic dream.” Dan said, trying his hardest not to laugh and scare Phil off from telling him any more.

“Sort of? I mean it started off okay, it just seemed like one of those weird dreams you have when you eat chocolate too close to bedtime.”

He opened his mouth to reprimand Phil, because he suspected that’s where the special occasion biscuits went, but this wasn’t the time to call Phil out on his secret eating habits.

“Okay, not to be that guy–”

“You’re about to be that guy, aren’t you?” Phil interrupted.

“Shut up, I’m helping.”

“Are you?”

“Phil.”

“Sorry, you were saying.”

“Can I analyze your dream?”

“Aren’t you doing that anyway?”

“No, I mean with the book.”

Phil knew exactly what he was talking about, and he knew Dan wouldn’t be satisfied until he dissected every last bit of them dream.

“Fine, go ahead.” He said, squirming out of Dan’s hold, who stretched across him to retrieve the book from Phil’s nightstand. He settled back against the pillows, looking at Phil expectantly and waiting for him to begin. Phil took the cue.

“The first thing I remember was hearing the front door opening, so I got out of bed to check it out.”

Almost immediately, Dan was turning the pages, muttering

“Lock…opening…unexpected…visitor–wait, you said he had a key?”

“Yeah.”

“So the lock wasn’t really broken?”

“I didn’t say it was broken, just that I heard it open.”

“Oh, there’s not really an option for–wait, you said you heard it? Were you not wearing earplugs?”

“No? I don’t know, I wasn’t wearing them in the dream.”

“Did the neighbors dog not exist in said dream?”

“What?

“That’s why you wear the earplugs, isn’t it? so if you weren’t wearing them then the neighbors dog must not have been in the dream.”

“Does that matter?”

“It could.”

“I don’t think it does.”

“But, it could.”

“Can we move on?”

“Sorry. So what happened next?”

“I walked into the lounge and you were there, but it wasn’t you. I mean it was you, but it was you from 4 years ago, and somehow I didn’t even question it. I mean, I did, I had no idea why you were in the flat, and how you got here from the past, but I never actually questioned whether or not it was real.”

“Brains are weird.”

Phil nodded in agreement before continuing. “So, there you were in the lounge, and things were a bit hostile, and then you–current you–woke up and came to see what happened, and it got weirder because as we were all talking, we heard a noise and another version of you had shown up and how did I not know this was a dream?”

Dan shrugged. “Brains are weird?”

“So we’re all in the lounge now, and you and 2009 you are sitting on the couch with me, and 2012 you is in the armchair, and it got…sexy…”

“Sexy? Sexy how?”

“Sexy like I almost had a threesome with you and you.”

“Phil! I thought you said it wasn’t a fanfic dream!”

“How would I know it was a fanfic dream? I’ve never read any of that stuff.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Not even–”

“I thought you wanted to hear about the dream.”

“Right, yeah, sorry. So..a threesome? That has to mean something…hang on.” He stared intently at the screen as he scrolled through the the results of his search. “It says that ‘you’re missing a component in your sex life’, and that if the participants are male, it’s a physical aspect.”

“So it’s saying I dreamed about sleeping with you and you because I’m unhappy with my sex life?”

“Yes.”

“Actually, I think I might have an explanation for that.”

“Uh…so, when you were on holiday…you didn’t have great wifi…”

“Yes, I know, I was the one who had to suffer through that. What’s your point?”

“Well…it meant we couldn’t skype like we usually do…”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes

“Phiiil, noooo. Oh my god! What one was it? Was it the truth or dare? Oh Phil, it was the banana, wasn’t it?” Phil shook his head. “AmazingDan?” Another no. “Hello internet? Phil, c’mon, not that one…”

“It was…all of them?”

“Phil!” Dan cried, swatting at him playfully, “you massive perv! I’m over ten years younger than you in those videos!”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! You’re just…you’re just so cute and it makes me think about when we first go together and I swear you’re the only 18 year old I get off to.”

“I better be.” Dan threatened, and then looked at Phil curiously. ”By the way, what is it about 2009 me that gets you going, hm? Is it the hair? The cardigans? The eel porn obsession?”

“Oh, definitely the eel porn.”

“I knew it.” He said, still giggling at Phil’s admission. “Now, c’mon, what happened next?”

“Well, you and you are sucking my dick–”

“Phil!”

“–and I asked 2012 you to join.”

Dan swatted him for real now.

“Really? You thought that was a good idea? Really? Even your dream version of me wouldn’t have been okay with that.”

“Yeah, you really weren’t”

“So what happened after that?”

“We…uh…he went into your room. He played the piano for a bit.”

“Hang on…you said I was the one playing piano, right? So you were just listening?” Phil nodded. “Okay, that’s supposed to indicate,” He cleared his throat and continued dramatically, “‘To dream that you hear the sound of a piano suggests harmony in your life. You are pleased with the way your life is going’. Is that accurate?”

“Of course it is.”

“Okay, it’s just…it doesn’t really fit in with the other elements…”

“To be honest, I haven’t really been keeping track of those. I just want to sleep.”

“I’m almost done, I promise. So, what, I just played the piano and then we had a fight?”

“Yes. We also had sex.” Dan dropped the book.

“Excuse me?”

“Tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow we can do whatever you need to help you not be jealous of dream past you, but not tonight, too tired, need sleep.” Dan ignored him and kept flipping through the pages, so fast that he managed to give himself a paper cut. He hissed and Phil reached for the book. Dan handed it over and shook his finger until the sting was gone.

“Did you see a penis?” He asked.

“A penis?” Phil echoed.

“His dick, my dick, whatever. In the dream, did you see it?”

“Yes?”

“Was it,” he raked a hand through his hair as he struggled with the word, “erect?”

“I should hope so, considering you fucked me with it.”

“Did I? Good for me.”

“So you saw my dick, which represents aggression, and you were the one being…I don’t want to say fucked…taken? So you were the one being taken, which is supposed to mean that ‘you may be afraid to yield to the wants and desires of others’.”

“So, we had sex, then what?”

“We fought. I don’t need the book to tell me what that’s supposed to mean.”

“What did we fight about?” He asked hesitantly. Phil fixed him with a look that told him quite plainly what they fought about, and he swallowed. “Do you think about stuff like that a lot?”

“What? No, that was the past, it’s in the past, I don’t know why that dream happened, it was just a weird dream.”

“You said I was drunk in the dream, right? Well that symbolizes that you’re losing control of your life or acting carelessly…mmm wait does that only apply if it’s you that’s drunk?” He asked Phil, finally looking up from the worn pages of the book.

“I don’t know, Dan, dreams are your thing.”

“Okay, well let’s assume the same interpretation applies. Maybe you saw me losing control? That   
would make sense, actually.”

“I don’t know…”

Dan ignored him and flipped a few pages forward.

“So I showed up again, yeah?”

“In a way…”

“In the bathroom? Because that signifies that you’re burdening yourself with feelings and need to ‘relieve yourself’.”

Phil wrinkled his nose. “Really, Dan?”

“What? I didn’t say it, the book did!”

“In the bathroom…was he, you know…”

“I don’t know! I didn’t think to ask.”

“Phil,” he said quietly, “Phil, all of this…it’s all adding up…”

“What? What is?”

“You’re unhappy…”

“Dan–”

“You’re unhappy…in your current relationship…”

Phil let out a noise somewhere between a snort and a giggle, cutting through the uncomfortable silence in the room, and making Dan jump. Phil’s dismissal stung, but he continued.

“See? See?! All of this is pointing in the same direction!” He insisted. “You’re obviously still angry with me and this dream was probably triggered by something I did..oh god…what did I do? Did I say something? Did I do something? Phil–”

“Dan.”

“–please, please, just tell me okay, I want to fix this and it’s obviously still hurting you–”

“Dan!”

“–we can talk about it now, or we can talk about it in the morning, whatever you want, but I will talk to you I promise I just don’t want–”

“Dan!”  
Dan’s head snapped up and he finally closed his mouth. Phil sighed and raked a hand through his hair, doing it no favors.

“Dan, listen to me, it’s not that deep, okay? It’s really not that deep. Like, it seemed that way? But then you got into it…and, Dan…I don’t feel that way, okay? I really don’t, and this isn’t just me telling you that to get you off my back, I really, truly don’t.”

“But you’re obviously still upset, or that part wouldn’t have happened.”

“I won’t lie and say it never crosses my mind late at night, but no, I’m not upset with you, Daniel, and no, I’m not angry with you for any reason.”

“So, it’s really just a random dream?”

“Yes.”

“Will you tell me if it happens again?”

“Of course.”

“And what did we learn from this?

“That I should stop repressing my feelings because years later latent anger will decide to manifest itself in my dreams and give me horrible nightmares and also to stop masturbating to your old videos because it leads to really strange sex dreams and that the combination of both things will be the most fucked up dream I’ve ever had in my 29 years on this earth?”

“No, we learned you need to stop eating entire boxes of chocolate biscuits before bed.”

“Oh. Right.”

“I bought those for game night.” Dan reminded him.

“Whoops.” His guilty expression made Dan want to kiss his nose, so he did and Phil let out a surprised squeak so Dan did it again, his hands running up Phil’s sides to pull him closer for a proper kiss.

“I love you.” He said as he pulled away.

“Love you too” Phil mumbled, his face relaxing into a sleepy smile as he cuddled up to Dan, resting his head on his chest. Dan ran a hand through Phil’s hair, smoothing down the bits were sticking up and placed one final kiss on top of his head before whispering in his ear.

“I’m serious about the biscuits.”

“Go to sleep, Dan.”

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight Phil.”

“Goodnight, Dan.”

“Try not to have anymore fanfic dreams.”

“Goodnight, Dan.”

“Which one?”

Dan felt Phil stiffen, and he starting shaking with laughter. “Oh my god,” he cackled, “I wish I could see your face right now, I bet it’s priceless.” He ducked quickly as Phil reached out blindly to try and push Dan off the bed, but Dan managed to roll out of the way, still giggling until Phil turned over, catching Dan by surprise and pinning him to the bed.

“You’re the worst person in the world, do you know that?

“Yeah, I know. But you love me anyway.”

“Do I?”

“I should hope so, seeing as you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future. Or have you forgotten about the fact that we’re going to be living out of a tour bus in a few months?”

“We should have gotten two buses.”

“Oi!”

“Are you going to let me sleep, or should I just get up and make coffee?”

“Sorry, yeah, let’s go back to sleep.” Dan wanted nothing more than to hold Phil right now, but it didn’t exactly make for a very comfortable sleep, so he settled for resting a hand on his stomach, taking care to avoid the spot where Phil was most ticklish, and watched as Phil’s eyelids fluttered shut once more. He felt guilty for keeping him up so long when he was obvious exhausted, but it also made Dan feel better to know that everything really was okay. He watched Phil for a minute or two before he felt himself start to slip away, his body feeling heavier and heavier as he succumbed to the similar exhaustion, and the last thing he heard was a murmured “I love you”, so soft he thought he imagined it, before everything faded to black.

*

When Phil woke up again, four or five hours later, he felt a familiar weight, making it difficult to breath. Somehow in the night (day? he wasn’t really sure at this point), Dan’s head had found it’s way onto his chest, and it didn’t matter how cute Dan looked while he slept, with the way his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, or the adorable soft snores he made, Phil didn’t hesitate to shove him off. Dan jerked awake, blinking blearily in confusion up at Phil.

“What was that for?”

“Couldn’t breathe.”

“Oh..sorry…” Judging from way his speech was slurring, Dan wasn’t fully awake, and Phil watched at he went back under, head resting on his own pillow this time, and one hand flung out to the side. Phil grabbed it, taking care not to wake Dan, and took a moment to admire the sleeping form of his boyfriend, now that he wasn’t being suffocated to death. He briefly wondered if there was any truth to Dan’s interpretation of his dream. The chocolate thing was something his mum had always told him, probably to keep him from eating sweets too close to his bedtime, and he didn’t actually put any stock in that theory, but stress, yes, stress, could definitely be the cause. It was good stress, mostly, but it was still stress, and it had still had enough of an effect on him to bring up old worries, long forgotten and already dealt with.

It took Dan’s overanalyzing to make him realize that no, he wasn’t really upset, and while things were hectic right now, this was their job, something they’d chosen to do together, and Phil couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else, he didn’t want to do it with anyone else, he didn’t want to be with anyone else. He was happy, they were happy, and everything was good, and he felt a little silly for even thinking otherwise

After all, sometimes a dream is just a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know okay


End file.
